Why I’m done trying to be “man enough” | Justin Baldoni

Why I’m done trying to be “man enough” | Justin Baldoni


As an actor, I get scripts and it’s my job to stay on script, to say my lines and bring to life a character
that someone else wrote. Over the course of my career, I’ve had the great honor playing some of the greatest
male role models ever represented on television. You might recognize me
as “Male Escort #1.” (Laughter) “Photographer Date Rapist,” “Shirtless Date Rapist” from the award-winning
“Spring Break Shark Attack.” (Laughter) “Shirtless Medical Student,” “Shirtless Steroid-Using Con Man” and, in my most
well-known role, as Rafael. (Applause) A brooding, reformed playboy who falls for, of all things, a virgin, and who is only occasionally shirtless. (Laughter) Now, these roles don’t represent
the kind of man I am in my real life, but that’s what I love about acting. I get to live inside characters
very different than myself. But every time I got
one of these roles, I was surprised, because most of the men
I play ooze machismo, charisma and power, and when I look in the mirror,
that’s just not how I see myself. But it was how Hollywood saw me, and over time, I noticed a parallel between the roles I would play as a man both on-screen and off. I’ve been pretending to be
a man that I’m not my entire life. I’ve been pretending
to be strong when I felt weak, confident when I felt insecure and tough when really I was hurting. I think for the most part
I’ve just been kind of putting on a show, but I’m tired of performing. And I can tell you right now that it is exhausting trying to be
man enough for everyone all the time. Now — right? (Laughter) My brother heard that. Now, for as long
as I can remember, I’ve been told the kind of man
that I should grow up to be. As a boy, all I wanted was to be
accepted and liked by the other boys, but that acceptance meant I had to acquire this almost disgusted view
of the feminine, and since we were told that feminine
is the opposite of masculine, I either had to reject
embodying any of these qualities or face rejection myself. This is the script that we’ve been given. Right? Girls are weak,
and boys are strong. This is what’s being
subconsciously communicated to hundreds of millions of young boys
and girls all over the world, just like it was with me. Well, I came here today to say, as a man that this is wrong, this is toxic, and it has to end. (Applause) Now, I’m not here
to give a history lesson. We likely all know how we got here, OK? But I’m just a guy that woke up
after 30 years and realized that I was living in a state of conflict, conflict with who I feel I am in my core and conflict with who the world
tells me as a man I should be. But I don’t have a desire to fit into the current
broken definition of masculinity, because I don’t just want
to be a good man. I want to be a good human. And I believe the only way that can happen is if men learn to not only
embrace the qualities that we were told
are feminine in ourselves but to be willing to stand up, to champion and learn
from the women who embody them. Now, men — (Laughter) I am not saying that everything
we have learned is toxic. OK? I’m not saying there’s anything
inherently wrong with you or me, and men, I’m not saying
we have to stop being men. But we need balance, right? We need balance, and the only way things will change
is if we take a real honest look at the scripts that have been
passed down to us from generation to generation and the roles that,
as men, we choose to take on in our everyday lives. So speaking of scripts, the first script I ever got
came from my dad. My dad is awesome. He’s loving, he’s kind,
he’s sensitive, he’s nurturing, he’s here. (Applause) He’s crying. (Laughter) But, sorry, Dad,
as a kid I resented him for it, because I blamed him for making me soft, which wasn’t welcomed
in the small town in Oregon that we had moved to. Because being soft
meant that I was bullied. See, my dad wasn’t
traditionally masculine, so he didn’t teach me how to use my hands. He didn’t teach me
how to hunt, how to fight, you know, man stuff. Instead he taught me what he knew: that being a man was about sacrifice and doing whatever you can to take care of
and provide for your family. But there was another role
I learned how to play from my dad, who, I discovered,
learned it from his dad, a state senator who later in life had to work nights as a janitor
to support his family, and he never told a soul. That role was to suffer in secret. And now three generations later, I find myself playing that role, too. So why couldn’t my grandfather
just reach out to another man and ask for help? Why does my dad to this day still think
he’s got to do it all on his own? I know a man who would rather die than tell another man
that they’re hurting. But it’s not because we’re just all,
like, strong silent types. It’s not. A lot of us men are really good
at making friends, and talking, just not about anything real. (Laughter) If it’s about work or sports
or politics or women, we have no problem sharing our opinions, but if it’s about
our insecurities or our struggles, our fear of failure, then it’s almost like we become paralyzed. At least, I do. So some of the ways
that I have been practicing breaking free of this behavior are by creating experiences
that force me to be vulnerable. So if there’s something
I’m experiencing shame around in my life, I practice diving straight into it, no matter how scary it is — and sometimes, even publicly. Because then in doing so I take away its power, and my display of vulnerability can in some cases give other men
permission to do the same. As an example, a little while ago I was wrestling with an issue in my life that I knew I needed
to talk to my guy friends about, but I was so paralyzed by fear that they would judge me
and see me as weak and I would lose my standing as a leader that I knew I had to take them
out of town on a three-day guys trip — (Laughter) Just to open up. And guess what? It wasn’t until the end of the third day that I finally found
the strength to talk to them about what I was going through. But when I did,
something amazing happened. I realized that I wasn’t alone, because my guys had also been struggling. And as soon as I found the strength
and the courage to share my shame, it was gone. Now, I’ve learned over time that if I want to practice vulnerability, then I need to build myself
a system of accountability. So I’ve been really blessed as an actor. I’ve built a really wonderful fan base, really, really sweet and engaged, and so I decided to use my social platform as kind of this Trojan horse wherein I could create a daily practice
of authenticity and vulnerability. The response has been incredible. It’s been affirming,
it’s been heartwarming. I get tons of love and press
and positive messages daily. But it’s all from a certain demographic: women. (Laughter) This is real. Why are only women following me? Where are the men? (Laughter) About a year ago, I posted this photo. Now, afterwards, I was scrolling
through some of the comments, and I noticed that one of my female fans
had tagged her boyfriend in the picture, and her boyfriend responded by saying, “Please stop tagging me in gay shit. Thx.” (Laughter) As if being gay makes you
less of a man, right? So I took a deep breath, and I responded. I said, very politely, that I was just curious, because I’m on an exploration
of masculinity, and I wanted to know
why my love for my wife qualified as gay shit. And then I said,
honestly I just wanted to learn. (Laughter) Now, he immediately wrote me back. I thought he was going to go off on me,
but instead he apologized. He told me how, growing up, public displays of affection
were looked down on. He told me that he was wrestling
and struggling with his ego, and how much he loved his girlfriend and how thankful he was for her patience. And then a few weeks later, he messaged me again. This time he sent me a photo of him on one knee proposing. (Applause) And all he said was, “Thank you.” I’ve been this guy. I get it. See, publicly,
he was just playing his role, rejecting the feminine, right? But secretly he was waiting
for permission to express himself, to be seen, to be heard, and all he needed was another man holding him accountable
and creating a safe space for him to feel, and the transformation was instant. I loved this experience, because it showed me
that transformation is possible, even over direct messages. So I wanted to figure out
how I could reach more men, but of course none of them
were following me. (Laughter) So I tried an experiment. I started posting more
stereotypically masculine things — (Laughter) Like my challenging workouts,
my meal plans, my journey to heal my body
after an injury. And guess what happened? Men started to write me. And then, out of the blue,
for the first time in my entire career, a male fitness magazine called me, and they said they wanted to honor me
as one of their game-changers. (Laughter) Was that really game-changing? Or is it just conforming? And see, that’s the problem. It’s totally cool for men to follow me when I talk about guy stuff and I conform to gender norms. But if I talk about
how much I love my wife or my daughter or my 10-day-old son, how I believe that marriage
is challenging but beautiful, or how as a man
I struggle with body dysmorphia, or if I promote gender equality,
then only the women show up. Where are the men? So men, men, men, men! (Applause) I understand. Growing up, we tend
to challenge each other. We’ve got to be the toughest, the strongest, the bravest
men that we can be. And for many of us, myself included,
our identities are wrapped up in whether or not at the end of the day
we feel like we’re man enough. But I’ve got a challenge for all the guys, because men love challenges. (Laughter) I challenge you to see
if you can use the same qualities that you feel make you a man to go deeper into yourself. Your strength, your bravery,
your toughness: Can we redefine what those mean
and use them to explore our hearts? Are you brave enough to be vulnerable? To reach out to another man
when you need help? To dive headfirst into your shame? Are you strong enough to be sensitive, to cry whether you are hurting or you’re happy, even if it makes you look weak? Are you confident enough to listen to the women in your life? To hear their ideas and their solutions? To hold their anguish and actually believe them, even if what they’re saying
is against you? And will you be man enough to stand up to other men
when you hear “locker room talk,” when you hear stories
of sexual harassment? When you hear your boys talking
about grabbing ass or getting her drunk, will you actually stand up
and do something so that one day
we don’t have to live in a world where a woman has to risk everything and come forward
to say the words “me too?” (Applause) This is serious stuff. I’ve had to take a real, honest look at the ways that I’ve unconsciously
been hurting the women in my life, and it’s ugly. My wife told me that I had been
acting in a certain way that hurt her and not correcting it. Basically, sometimes
when she would go to speak, at home or in public, I would just cut her off mid-sentence
and finish her thought for her. It’s awful. The worst part was that I was completely
unaware when I was doing it. It was unconscious. So here I am doing my part, trying to be a feminist, amplifying the voices
of women around the world, and yet at home, I am using my louder voice
to silence the woman I love the most. So I had to ask myself a tough question: am I man enough to just shut the hell up and listen? (Laughter) (Applause) I’ve got to be honest.
I wish that didn’t get an applause. (Laughter) Guys, this is real. And I’m just scratching the surface here, because the deeper we go,
the uglier it gets, I guarantee you. I don’t have time to get into porn
and violence against women or the split of domestic duties or the gender pay gap. But I believe that as men, it’s time we start to see
past our privilege and recognize that we are
not just part of the problem. Fellas, we are the problem. The glass ceiling exists
because we put it there, and if we want to be
a part of the solution, then words are no longer enough. There’s a quote that I love that
I grew up with from the Bahá’í writings. It says that “the world of humanity
is possessed of two wings, the male and the female. So long as these two wings
are not equivalent in strength, the bird will not fly.” So women, on behalf of men all over the world who feel similar to me, please forgive us for all the ways that we have not
relied on your strength. And now I would like
to ask you to formally help us, because we cannot do this alone. We are men. We’re going to mess up. We’re going to say the wrong thing.
We’re going to be tone-deaf. We’re more than likely, probably,
going to offend you. But don’t lose hope. We’re only here because of you, and like you, as men, we need
to stand up and become your allies as you fight against pretty much everything. We need your help
in celebrating our vulnerability and being patient with us as we make this very, very long journey from our heads to our hearts. And finally to parents: instead of teaching our children to be brave boys or pretty girls, can we maybe just teach them
how to be good humans? So back to my dad. Growing up, yeah, like every boy,
I had my fair share of issues, but now I realize that it was
even thanks to his sensitivity and emotional intelligence that I am able to stand here right now
talking to you in the first place. The resentment I had for my dad
I now realize had nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with me
and my longing to be accepted and to play a role
that was never meant for me. So while my dad may have not taught me
how to use my hands, he did teach me how to use my heart, and to me that makes him
more a man than anything. Thank you. (Applause)

100 comments on “Why I’m done trying to be “man enough” | Justin Baldoni

  1. Jessi Jovel Post author

    6:04 I'm actually worried about my dad for this… someone important for him died a few years ago, I literally have NEVER heard him say anything about it and it worries me… but I haven't take the courage to bring it up either.

    Reply
  2. Daniel Kraus Post author

    If everyone was just more accepting of each other, toxic masculinity (or femininity) wouldn't be a thing.

    Reply
  3. Soluchi {Michael Jackson Lookalike, Dancer, VFX} Post author

    The courts are going to destroy this man, if he ever has a Divorce. If you get too in touch with your emotions, females will despise you and see you as weak.
    He's saying all this most likely because he now has a daughter.

    Reply
  4. Me Post author

    Girls are weaker than men generally.. but I suppose modern schools and culture might change that. Make men weak so women have to stand up.

    Reply
  5. ブルーノBruno Post author

    Dude, you're handsome and charismatic, but men like sports, gym, exactly the stuff you were doing to be called by a male magazine. You could suggest a page to show your loving side, that'd be awesome. But we just don't have interest in sentimental contents in general, women do, it's human nature.

    Reply
  6. Sunayana S Post author

    The audience at times responded as if he was being comical on a serious note, but this man wasn't joking or impressing anyone when he spoke. You can tell , it came from his heart. Hands Down the best speech I have heard on what feminism is actually about …coming from a Man!

    Reply
  7. Vakhtang Kiziria Post author

    Soldering on when bleeding and hurt, defying odds when outnumbered, cheering up others while feeling desperate, encouraging others while being scared to death, forcing a smile instead of tearing up, etc. all that as much acting as anything else we do when defying weaknesses of our nature, because that is the only admirable purpose of life in its higher form both ethically and biologically. a man. Few recent generations of Western polities simply forgot that life is a struggle, instead of being lost in a moment of history that mislead them to believe in the pursuit of pleasures instead of self-betterment. This guy's naivete is amusing and sad at the same time. Many boys and men will be seduced by this fallacious philosophy of life. However, life contains a powerful and brutal wisdom of its own. This moment will pass and when our society will enter gradually or not the period of hardships, the necessity to strive for survival will eventually sober up generations of feminized " sensitive" men, that believe crying on every occasion like a girl is something of spiritual achievement.
    By the way, this notion of tough men not being sensitive because they don't cry is one of the most ridiculous idiocies, invented and promoted in our time. Look into poetry and prose written from the time of the legendary Gilgamesh. How much pain, suffering it conveys, how much deepest love it declares. One might say but those were written by poets and writers that were not tough. Many were. Many fought in wars, or lead life full of struggle because you know until 20 century even in the West life was not a milkshake from a Starbucks or McDonalds. Let us look deep into the darknes of ages were men and women were raw and uncoth in our modern view. The hero of the most ancient literature piece that survived an erasing power of time, the mighty Gilgamesh cried like a girl, like a baby, before the dead body of his only friend Enkidu. Men surely can cry. But it is not what makes them Men.

    Reply
  8. Ariel Martinez Post author

    I have a new found respect for this man. Finally someone especially a man is willing as he would stand and speak about something every man should hear and take action for both male and female.
    Edit: why am I only getting this in my recommendations now. Instead of waiting and searching for something like this. It’s best to start putting it out there and be taught to kids, teens and adults. We can’t just wait for someone to step up!

    Reply
  9. Hue Hue Post author

    You know women are the biggest creators of this toxic masculinity, they want aggressive and dominant men, they want the bad traits they always say they don't like. Women want a violent men with caring and loving traits which is impossible in real life.

    Reply
  10. Joseph Abraham Post author

    Doctor said: "The heart of a man is like deep water"

    Wife responded: "I agree, sometimes his love can be cold and crushing."

    Husband: shakes head

    Reply
  11. T P Post author

    As a man you can talk about the emotional part of your self and still be what is considered manly. Its not a damn choice, your making it that way in your argument. I'll listen to women sure, just not about how to be a man.

    Reply
  12. Pamela Constantine Post author

    Wow! He is even prettier on the inside. Amazing. Thank you so much for this ted talk. I know it will change lives.

    Reply
  13. Jake Lesnake Post author

    The biggest load of BS I've ever heard. If you look like him you can maybe be vulnerable. I've been vulnerable and emotionally available and got a metaphorical dagger in my heart every time. You live and learn. That's all there is to it.

    Reply
  14. Gary Lake Post author

    What a charmer, as a man, even I could be swept off of my feet by his ability to love.

    This is just another act for Justin, just like his namesake at Canada's helm, he plays to the audience, he gets his kicks fron the cheers

    Alas, nature is cruel, its good to show your emotions, I have found that it helps greatly, and he is correct, it makes you better individual, but when push comes to shove, a man has to stand up and be counted, its what makes us men.

    The most dissapointing aspect of this TED presentation, was the part about male locker room talk, its not that prevalent, he is just hooking into a 'in vogue' anti male narrative, I have in my life, on many occassions, been lucky enough to be party to female locker room talk, and any females out there will know what the harsh realities of that kind of talk are.

    9/10 for the performance Justin, 3/10 for the content.

    Reply
  15. Deja Bethel Post author

    Thank you so much for such a powerful message. I really needed this and I believe so many others can benefit from this talk ! ❤️

    Reply
  16. Brian Sullivan Post author

    I am already a very sensitive man, and it's not often seen as masculine, by other men or even by many women. Maybe if I was 6'2", handsome, fit, and making decent money from a career in showbiz, it would be easier to live with myself and express myself as I actually am. Instead, I deal with crippling depression, anxiety, OCD, and body dysmorphia. I'm 5'8", average looking, with high cholesterol, and persisting issues finding a decent paying job in a very expensive region, despite having earned a college degree. I'm a really good friend, empathetic listener, nurturing support system, creative musician, and an overall decent worker in any job I've had, but I don't get people telling me "YES! This is how all men should be!" Instead, I get "Dude, are you crying? Man up!" "Are you still working in entry-level roles in your mid-30s? What are you doing?" It's nice seeing men getting reassurance from both men and women for breaking from the gender norm, but it's hard not seeing many men "like me" doing it with any degree of success.

    Reply
  17. Rachel Arruda Post author

    This is the most powerful Ted Talk I've listened to so far. Hearing about how wrong toxic masculinity is, especially from someone who is often "typecasted" into hyper masculine roles is super important. I hope that many men hear this and that it helps them understand that just because you were born a man or you look a certain way doesn't mean you need to maintain an toxic, harsh, or emotionally constipated mask.

    Reply
  18. Ryan Verdi Post author

    Reject the masculine , be more feminine. No thanks, I’ll seek out better ideas elsewhere. He doesn’t speak for all Oregonians. He has never been exposed to the genuine masculine apparently. Why not address actual masculine threats to society such as emotional instability, predatory violence, rape and assault. I’m down to label those threats “toxic” but not what he’s trying to philosophize about. No thanks, stick to Hollywood dude.

    Reply
  19. Pranav Gopal Post author

    He is the Role model For Every Men Really inspiring words speaking reality in front of the world is the most appreciated thing in him I feel

    Reply
  20. Thomas Shelby Post author

    You’re done trying to man up? Grow up first child.
    After watching the video: To stop trying to man up when you want to. You need to be a real man.

    Reply
  21. Sophie Miller Post author

    This was a beautifully spoken tedtalk thaNk yOu

    p.s. he should play rhys from acotar if they ever make a tv adaptation, like holy he would literally be the p e r f e c t rhys

    Reply
  22. satish meetei Post author

    So preachy about man. Let him try to do it with girls. Then we can listen to him. Or else it is just waste of time

    Reply
  23. G M Post author

    I would love to be part of something loving, unfortunately my dad was toxic and I am still struggling with jobs etc, please help me , tell me where I can go, I will work anywhere I can find peace, anywhere in the world

    Reply
  24. Nephibis Post author

    I think this is great and I agree with it, but I don't feel like it would work with most of the women I meet. Women always put me down for showing my emotions and while I do agree that men do that as well; every man who I have later spoke to on the subject always said it was because that was how they were raised or that is the only way to get a woman and they didn't want me to be in a position where I would be unhappy and without a woman. I wasn't able to get along with everyone enough to know their side and I have no idea where it originated from, but I do know on a consistent basis women have refused to be more than friends because I am emotional. I have also experienced women changing the way they treat me when they made more money. They did things that I never did to them when I made more than them and made it seem like I was unworthy to be with them because I didn't make more money.

    Reply
  25. Loving Memories Post author

    🏆🏆🏆He should win an Emmy for this. He is sooooooooo inspiring. If he were a minister I’d visit his church.

    Reply
  26. Hasanna Robinson Post author

    he should read "The man the wanted me to be" it's a book about toxic masculinity. It talks about the lie of masculinity and femininity. how and when it started, and why this started. The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making. Jared Yates Sexton alternates between an examination of his working class upbringing and historical, psychological, and sociological sources that examine the genesis of toxic masculinity and its consequences for society.

    Reply
  27. Mesmonium Post author

    Feminist propaganda coming from the mouth of a beautiful male actor? Eh, and he wonders why women are his main demographic…

    Reply
  28. Donato Vicenti Post author

    I get what you mean and I feel it very much. Thank you for sharing this. At the same time I feel that being a good human, as much as important as it is, it's not enough. I gotta also show toughness and embrace these masculine qualities to be noticed and taken seriously.

    Reply
  29. Mike McKay Post author

    Men and women don’t really need each other anymore. 75% of men under 35 aren’t married. Births are plummeting. Men are agreeing with feminists. “You don’t need a man.” So men are going solo and loving their freedom and solitude.

    Reply
  30. Hoppy Bunny Post author

    Apparently Justin Baldoni has drank a great portion of the feminist anti-male gender studies cool-aid.
    So let me mention a few things Justin gets wrong, just like most feminist.
    Justin, like feminists, accept an extremely oversimplified concept of men and male identity. Also like feminist, Justin supplies his audience with a one note characterization presenting virtually and only a malevolent cartoon caricature of men in general. And like feminists, Justin adopts an omniscient presupposition of which he feels remarkably confident in lecturing men overall as to what informs and shapes our complete thoughts, feelings and desires while also imposing mainly negative associations with my gender, as if to say, His chosen perspective on the totality of what informs masculinity and the lived experiences of men and male identity as the defacto definition of the single source problem. And like female feminists, is speech exhorts a fallacy common within feminist ideology insisting they and only they own an exclusive monopoly on all higher morality and ethics.

    The picture he paints of my gender follows a feminist narrative so complete, that within it, never once do you get any semblance of objectivity whereupon any mention of male achievement and accomplishment associated with the positive is examined. Some of the greatest heroes of men in general, are men like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Gandhi, Einstein, along with great poets like Yeats, Shelly, as well as prominent male philosophers such as Socrates, Plato, Kierkegaard and Sartre to name a few.

    I need not go into centuries of brilliant male classical artists, of which even translating down to modern times, of which artists, such as Monet, and Matisse, all celebrated by men hardly conforms to the very shallow and limiting caricature of masculinity he cements in absolutist terms of which only the most extreme and morally absent examples he prefers to indict my gender, certainly enough to feel he qualifies as someone to admonish my gender as if we're so completely vacant of ethical awareness that in the end only if we abandon our sense of selves as men can we only cease to embody the feminist trope characterizing us as mainly and often only rapist, abuser and oppressor.

    He also speaks of women as universal holders of all human virtue to contrast with his appointment of men as wholly lacking any within any context of masculine quality. I'm sure Emmett Till deserved what he got, because no white woman ever lies, and to admit any does, within the context of his speech, implies a lack of virtue in women completely the opposite of the unquestioned and unexamined praise he gives them, which he refuses to infuse even marginally within men as an innate quality. Concepts like personal aesthetics within some men is not considered, which drives reasons for what shapes a man's idea of attractive, so he converts this natural tendency to define such aesthetics as negative social conditioning by other men for negative motives.

    He is a wealthy white elitist person from a background of distinct economic privileges not shared by 80% of the country, yet he believes he can distill the realities facing a population of men, and JUDGE us from the vacant arena of his own experiences of internal conflict? Then to add insult to injury, project his biased perceptions as the defacto standard for ALL men by defaulting to the typical ideologically motivated generalization?
    My father, and plenty of men of great worth and masculine feature as character, praised musicians like Liberace, Often held as favorites individuals like David Bowie in the early and mid 70's. Embraced anti-war ideals and, this may come as a giant surprise to people like Justin and his feminist friends, but these men didn't spend time preoccupied with rape, abuse and oppression of anyone, particularly women. Justin would do well to cease thinking of men in general from an Archie Bunker archetype and maybe he might consider seeing us as something far more diverse, complex and nuanced than what gets drilled into the social narrative by feminists.

    Its hip and trendy to take to media platforms and denounce my gender, make clever misandric digs and shape the majority of discourse on popular platforms like TED to run us down to uphold liberal socially progressive credentials. More and more it sounds like the kind of self righteous statements spoken by prominent popular eugenicists and phrenologists who once held a belief they understood the nature and precise definition of what informs the black mind, beliefs thoughts and intellectual capacity (all of which was deemed sub-par.) To hear it from Justin and feminists, men as a rule and never the exception are little more than a bag of "toxic" pathology and psychotics whose only way to human status is to exist in mindless deference to women, whom he places on a high moral pedestal. I say no one qualifies for the position in terms of a priori qualification, but through individual examples of which men and women equally ascend to it as well as in exact number fall short. As many women supported American chattel slavery as did men. A little more than half of the population protesting against integration in the 60's were female as was the population of cheering crowds during public lynchings. To speak of women as virtually universally absolved of any negative use of their femininity while harping on and on about men associated almost exclusively in "toxic" terms is disingenuous as well as intellectually dishonest.
    I don't have to run women down to elevate the male gender, and one does not have to run men down to promote positive ideas to be accepted by men. Justine fails even the most modest attempt to be objective and fair about the lives of men, just as feminists repeatedly reject any sustained discourse on positive achievements and contributions men make to society and culture. Justin lives in a super insulated world of Hollywood narcissism, part of which he believes gives him some magical special insight into the lives of men he's never met beyond his exclusive circle of equally elitist celebrity culture ideologues.

    Of course in a room full of people who apparently like hearing yet again about how emotionally and morally inferior men are will get the latest misandrist constant applause. Running men down with subjective evaluations and gender study narratives is great business and with so few men willing to stand up and defend ourselves against people like Justin and feminists, its no wonder younger men embrace a sense of self loathing. I can't recall a single Ted Talk by a man where the subject amounted to discourse informing men of our innate positive attributes. Endless forums within media uphold the innumerable praise of women, and that's fine, but just as much as women are celebrated to high heaven twice as many forums denounce men with sneering oversimplification and negative associations. There is so much more to men than Justin or the feminists are willing to mention, and though it may mean nothing to him or his feminist friends, I know the best and greatness of man is the rule and not the exception.
    I'm sure anyone reading this will quickly dismiss with derision my commentary. I have no doubt that I will be smeared as a misogynist and rape apologist followed by the expected digs at my mental state and intelligence. But maybe there is one or two men out there who are willing to see beyond the feminist negative archetypes, and stereotypes of men as Justin cheerfully embraces, and maybe one day, more men will have the courage to stand up and tell the Justin's of the world, "you're wrong."

    Reply
  31. GonzotheGonz1 Post author

    Sounds like a feminized man, telling me, A MAN, how I should relate to my friends and my emotions. If he is so afraid and weak, caring SO much about what other guys think…then he should not give advice. At all.

    Most men do not want as much blubbering about feelings as women do. A guy who does not get this, seems a bit immature to me.

    The fact that he is SURPRISED about more men following him, when he starts talking about masculine things is flabbergasting. I am simply not interested in his emotions, or his love for his woman. Couldn´t care less, to be honest.
    (The equivalence would be to be surprised that you get fewer female followers if you mainly talk about engines and mechanics…).

    Men generally do not have the same need to constantly talk about our emotions, and even less to read about someone else´s emotions on FB, or twitter.

    …I am 15 years his senior, and I KNOW one thing to be absolutely true; Women HATE weak men, who talk more about their feelings than women do themselves.
    Simple as that.

    Reply
  32. Rikki Slonce Post author

    I really wanna write a role for him now. A humanized male character who goes through the idea of masculinity through his life, but learns it just means being himself. I have to start writing now! While the idea is hot. THANK YOU! LOVE YOUR MESSAGE! SUCH A GREAT HUMAN! 🙂

    Reply
  33. Froggy Noddy Post author

    such bull crap. men and women are at war with each other. singles are rising and the sooner marriage goes obsolete, the better it is for men and women.

    Reply

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