Why Birthdays Are Stressful!

Why Birthdays Are Stressful!

– Where in the world is Superwoman today? In a rainbow, I mean, in Toronto. Six side! What up everyone, it’s
your girl, Superwoman. And it’s my birthday this Saturday. That’s right, I am turning the big 21. And although birthdays are really exciting and you get to feel all special,
I’ll be honest with you, in my opinion, birthdays
are sorta, kinda stressful. And here’s why. There is so much pressure
built into your birthday. It’s like you expect to feel
totally different as a person. Where in reality, you’re
gonna have the exact same life except today you’ll have cake. Every night before my birthday at 11:50 pm I be feeling hella anxious
just peeping at my phone, counting down the minutes you can be like, “Okay, okay, here we go, here we go.” And then when it hits 12? Nothing happens. And you already know in
your brain you’ve convinced yourself that the number
of calls and texts you get is a symbol of how popular
you are so now you’re stressed because you’re judging yourself. You checking you phone
for no reason, like, “Oh wait, do I got a signal,
maybe I ain’t got no reception. “Hold on, you know what
there ain’t that many towers up in here.” And then we just, “Hold up, hold up.” And you’re going through a
mental list in your brain like, “I’ma just wait, 12:01
Ashley didn’t call me yet. “Don’t worry, I know she
ain’t forget my birthday. “If Ashley forget my
birthday, that ho is cut.” And I’m waiting on Paul
and Kevin too, you know, “12:03 I didn’t get no
call, I know they ain’t “forgetting my birthday.” Okay, it’s 12:10, you know
what, Aunt Kim ain’t called but, you know, okay whatever. Kim and I aren’t that close
I’m gonna let that one slide. But the rest of them? Uh-uh. And then suddenly bing! Yes! Oh, I’m gonna check this
(sharply inhales) out. “This is a courtesy text to tell you “you’re running out of data.” What the, ain’t nobody love you. I really hope this video is in focus. I’m, I’m, I’m not completely sure. Because here’s the thing,
it’s 2015 and apparently people no longer call one another to wish each other a happy birthday. Uh-uh, you’ll be lucky if
you receive the text message. Because what’s gonna happen
is I’m gonna log onto Facebook on my birthday
and have 700 notifications of people who have written
the exact same message on my wall that reads,
“Hey, happy birthday.” Thanks so much for the warm wishes. Also, who the hell are you? Also, if you’re my close
friend and you think it’s okay to wish me happy birthday
on my wall in a sea of 200 other basic people, you dumb. How the hell is that okay,
honestly, might as well wish me happy birthday
at the mother effin’ Hunger Games reaping. Or better yet, just take your
birthday wish, okay, and put it in the middles of the cast
list for Game of Thrones, okay, because I ain’t gonna
see that ish either way. Birthdays also set up
unrealistic expectation because on the day of your birthday
everyone treats you amazing. Your boyfriend or
girlfriend is nice to you, they’ll wear something cute,
they don’t fight with you. Your teacher won’t pick on you, “Oh, you don’t know the answer? “Don’t worry, it’s your birthday, Timmy.” Your parents aren’t gonna yell at you. Everything is great. You have good birthday? Good girl, I love you,
okay, happy birthday. Don’t worry about nothing, okay? You such a good girl. Thanks, mom. I really appreciate it, oh
and see I love you, too. Thanks. (alarm buzzes) All right, clean your bloody room, okay? What you think, you special? You think you so very special, okay? Well, I’m going to call
Government of Canada. I’ll be like, “Hello, government, yes. “Can you make one VIP
parking space for Lilly? “That’s right, no, no,
not a handicap, just lazy. “That’s right, make it
closest space to mall, okay? “No, no, don’t worry, even
people with wheelchair “get there faster than her.” But mom– But shut up, shut, sh,
shut your face, okay? You know difference between
me and Kanye West, huh? I’m not even going to let you finish it. They call me Ashton Kutcher, okay, because I’m going to Punk you. Even Fifth Harmony called, okay? They said you not even worth it. Tom Cruise waiting outside, okay? They want to shoot Mission Impossible 5. That’s right, story going
to be Cleaning Your Room. You think your zodiac sign Libra, huh? Your only sign Dead End Ahead, okay, because this your future. Police outside right now asking, “Everybody okay after hurricane?” I say, “No, no, it’s not to worry. “It’s only Lilly’s room, okay? “Only person hurt? “Mother’s pride.” Even bobcat they know they come
close to your room (squeals) they run away, they know natural disaster. But, what is that? That’s like Apple call me, okay? Macintosh, they want me
take picture of your face for the new “useless” emoji. You so bloody dark here,
okay, you supposed to have three windows, you have 1.5 window. How you see anything? But that’s okay, that’s
okay, you know why? Because this still more views
than your YouTube channel. (slams door) Idiot. And as soon as that clock hits midnight, it goes 100 to zero real quick. It’s like someone is
rewinding Drake’s song. And, yes, apparently there’s
still sunshine and light in my room when it’s midnight
according to that last skit. But honestly, I ain’t a
production, you get the point. The point is that your birthday
is like one of those people who wins, like, American
Idol or like another reality show like that, okay? You’re only special for one day. So sit your O-Town lookin’ self down. You ain’t never gonna be a Backstreet Boy. And for those of you who
actually thought I was 21, that O-Town joke proves to
you that I’m much older. (laughs) Thank you. Now if you decide to throw a party, that’s a whole other stress
because these days making an invite list can turn into a
TLC special, All That Drama. Yo, Jessica? Yeah. Should I invite Kim to my birthday party? Are you inviting Paul? Yeah. Then you have to invite Kim. But I don’t even know Kim. But she’s friends with Paul. But it’s my birthday. But wait, didn’t she invite you to hers? No. She’ll totally see it on Instagram. Whatever, I’ll say I had a limit. But you’re inviting Bill and
you’ve only met Bill like once. Okay, so am I like a bad
person if I don’t invite Kim? Yeah, especially if Rebecca’s coming. (sighs) I just wanna
have fun and be happy. That doesn’t matter. (groans) But listen, listen, listen. This is your birthday party, okay? It’s not about you. I swear to God, you
know, four of the people at my birthday party are the
people I actually want there. Everyone else is an obligation
invite that I have called simply because I don’t want
to have leftover chips. You know what I’m talking about. Once you have a bag of open
chips it’s very hard to close it in such a way where the
chips don’t get stale. Just finish the damn chips,
that’s why you’re here. This is your purpose. (laughs hard) Oh my God, the accuracy. Or maybe your friends are
throwing you a surprise party which proves to be a
whole next dilemma because chances are one of your
stupid friends already ruined the surprise and now
you’re gonna have to act like you had no idea. But it’s like, “Doug,
why you so bad at lying?” Oh what’s that, Jessica? You want me to walk into
this random banquet hall today, on my birthday? Oh, because you want
me to see if it’s okay for your wedding day? Okay, that’s great, let’s do it. Jessica, you ain’t had a
boyfriend in five years. Talking about your wedding day. Straight up your
relationship status button on Facebook is a fossil. Calm down. What’s that, what’s my favorite color? Oh, you need to know for a school project? “Dammit, Bob, we’re in
the same class together.” What’s that, you need to talk to my mom? To ask her about a recipe? Today, on my birthday? Okay, one second. Girl don’t play like you cook, okay? The last time I was at
your house you gave me a slice of cheese with a
pack of ketchup for dinner. Don’t even get me started on presents. When I was younger I used
to love getting gifts because let’s be real, when
you’re 13 you want everything. “Aw yes, a Discman!” But when you’re older
receiving gifts becomes a whole awkward situation because a few really weird things can happen. For example, chances
are your closest friends will buy you gifts. When you’re older, you
only have like four friends and you need to invest and
maintain those four friends. So they approach you all
like, “Happy birthday!” Oh, thank you. Aldo, huh? Oh no, it’s just the bag. Okay. Oh my God. It’s great, isn’t it? This is so cool! Ahhh! A floral Snapback, oh I love it. Thank you. You love it, oh I knew you’d love it. Oh, a unicorn t-shirt. Wow! Heh! This is, this, honestly
this is, this is great. (squeals with delight) Ahhh! (squeals with delight) Hello, you’re my best
friend and you don’t know I own this effin’ hat
that I wear every day in every single one of my videos? Birthdays are the time you
realize that your friends don’t actually know anything about you. And the worst part is the
communication that goes down in this whole process
because you have to act like you’re really surprised
and you really love it. So you got to do that awkward smile. Uh-huh, that’s our big smile. Then you got to say
“thank you” but you know when you say “thank you”
you gotta like raise the pitch of your voice a
little bit so you seem sincere. Thank you! But then to make it seem
like you really mean it, you need to, like, extend the words. Thank youuuuuuah. And then when it’s all said and done, you go to bed at night and you realize, “Wait, hold on a minute. “I’m actually getting really old.” And then some stupid person,
or also the voice in your head, says, “No, don’t worry about it. “27 is the new 20.” Who said that? Where is the scientific proof
that that is in fact true? Because 27 is not the new 20, okay? 27 is the original 27 and
the only person that says “27 is the new 20” are 27-year-olds
who know they hella old. You can’t do that, you
can’t just change one thing into something else, okay? This isn’t Orange is the New Black. You’re not a TV show, it
doesn’t work the same way. What you gonna do, go
to the movies tomorrow and be like, “Hi, I’d
like to buy a child’s pass “because 27 is the new 16.” They’re gonna be like, “Pish,
get the eff out of here. “You’re just saying words.” But real talk and regardless
of everything I just said, I am super excited for my birthday. And thank you so much,
I’ve already gotten so many wishes from all of you. And also, all of the
things I said in this video are not true because my friends
are great at everything. Also, please guys, please
come to my birthday party. I can’t be packaging no chip bags. And if you’re sitting
there like, “Oh my God, “I wish I could get Superwoman
something for her birthday.” I know what you can get me. You can download my
free Unicorn Island app for iPhone and Android
and play Flappy Unicorn and tell me what your high score is. Today’s shout-out goes to
(vibrates tongue) bing! Congratulations on your
high score (lips kiss). Sending kisses to your user name. Also, hold up, wait a minute,
let me put some info in it. I have promoted on my socials
that today I am announcing one more surprise stop for my world tour, A Trip to Unicorn Island,
and I am so, so excited to tell you where that stop is gonna be. Are you ready? Are you ready? You’re not ready. Hold on, let me just put
on this hat real quick. (clears throat) That’s right, Trinidad and
Tobago Superwoman’s coming to bust a wine. Trinidad and Tobago my
sweet, sweet T and T. You don’t know the strings
I had to pull to make this one happen so I got two
shows for you on October 17. One at 2:00 and one at 8:00. Tickets go on sale this
Saturday at 12 o’clock noon. All the information is in the description and that page will only
launch on Saturday. So if you click on that
link and you’re like, “That ticket link doesn’t work!” It’s gonna launch Saturday 12 noon. Get your tickets. There’s only 200 VIP
tickets for each show. Before it sells out, this is
the only chance you got though! Other than that if you like this video, give it a big thumbs up
and you can check out my last video right there. It is a collab with Susie. If the annotation doesn’t
work on your phone I’ll put it in the description. You can check out my vlog right there and tomorrow’s vlog you’ll
hear me talk a whole lot about how I pulled off
this Trinidad thing. So if you’re interested in that, go subscribe to that channel. And then make sure you
subscribe because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday and I’d love for you to be there. One love Superwoman, that is a wrap. And zoop, ah! ♫ Sweet, sweet T and T, ahhh ♫ Hello, I cannot wait to
“bust wine” in Trinidad. Look at this one. Okay. Hello. Ssss, hello.

100 comments on “Why Birthdays Are Stressful!

  1. Mattie Elizabeth Post author

    you're teachers being nice to you on your birthday have you met my algebra 2 teacher, you're gonna need to call the child protection services after the first day

  2. cromusic ibra Post author

    "At 12, nothing happens!"
    True. Becaue i was born at 12:58 AM. My friend texted me at 12:07 on my last birthday, and i said "not yet, babe. I was born at 1 in the morning. Not 22 quite yet."

  3. Holly sHmit Post author

    Till 12 yrs I waited anxiously for ma birthday… Now I just roll ma eyes nd continue readin-_-

  4. cream_puff Post author

    My mum got upset on my b day because I am 10 and my phone was blowing up and hers was for b day texts for me but on her b day I am the only one who texts her????

  5. Megh Chitra Post author

    I think she exaggerated being her mom a bit too much…. pls don't hate, i'm just not against parents thats it.

  6. DancingMilly Post author

    lol my teacher was so rude to me on my birthday because I forgot my homework and I got detention

  7. Arya Kamath Post author

    I have to text people the day before my birthday pretending to be excited about it when really I'm just trying to remind my few not very close friends to wish me a happy birthday.??

  8. Threelly AI Post author

    So hyped…

  9. Urvi Behal Post author

    i hate when i wake up on my birthday morning because i cant get out of bed without my parents coming up to me with 3 different phones telling me talk to this person. Also my birthday is on Halloween which is great but i don't even get to keep all my candy which stinks.

  10. Atrija Dhar Post author

    Exactly .. I am not even cared about my bday… It doesn't even mean anything if other days are horrible from the same set of people giving you importance on that day.. .. but I have seen people getting so upset if they don't receive wishes.. getting excited on your own bday is another level of thought though

  11. Melina Paz Post author

    i'd be happy if i got the manga of ouran highschool host club or fairy tale. i'm getting a new headboard next sunday.

  12. cookiecupcake14 Post author

    My ' friends ' complain if I don't invite them to my birthday party even if I don't have one!

  13. Lindsey Reyes Post author

    I just throw on sweat pants and say leave me alone did you not read the home made do no disturb sign

  14. Claudia Armah Post author

    Well, let us all make everyday a GOOD and BEST DAY. It doesn't have to be our birthday to feel happy and special. For me it is a day that I have grown older and a day for me to glorify God in prayer. Plus, I don't expect anybody's presence except my family. More importantly, we as individuals need to keep a good name for ourselves. This goes for everybody. ?

  15. Khadij a Post author

    My parents yelled at me on my birthday because I didn’t clean my room. Before they even told me happy birthday.

  16. Big Grandma Post author

    So I fell asleep for like 6 hours while having auto play and the. The alarm went off and not I tell you I jumped up so fast because I thought it was my alarm for school


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