I Filmed My Chronic Migraine // Christmastide Day 11 [CC]

I Filmed My Chronic Migraine // Christmastide Day 11 [CC]


Hello chums! It’s Editing Jessica again. I think we know if we start
the video with Editing Jessica then it probably didn’t go too well earlier. That’s all I’m going to say on that. So I wake up this morning feeling… felling rather awful. Building… Building sense of impending doom. I was putting on my make up,
got to my eyebrows and realized [Dramatically] No I was dying. of a horrific migraine. So obviously the correct thing to do
was to get back into bed and then start filming uh..
my random, mumbling, ranting feelings. about my migraine. So.. you know. It’s a video. Enjoy. Please don’t judge that I am only wearing eyebrows. It’s weird. Okay. Hello lovely people. Today we’re going to talk about chronic pain. because… boy am I… in some chronic pain. right now. There’s this spot in my neck…
and if I press on it I don’t feel quite so nauseous. It’s amazing. I woke up this morning feeling
like a lightning bolt had somehow snuck it’s way into my eye. But then snuck is a very weird description. Definitely smashed. More of a smash. A lightning bolt smashed its way into my face. That’s how it feels. It looks perfectly normal. I know. That’s… what it’s like though with a migraine. Looks fine. Feels like my face has been smashed in. Wonderful. I thought it was a good opportunity
though to talk about chronic pain. [Quietly] Jesus don’t touch that bit of your neck. I have people ask me — and by people I mean doctors — “When did your pain start?” I can’t really remember I wasn’t in pain. I think I was just born screaming in pain and then it’s continued forever. [chuckles] [sighs] And then of course you might be wondering “But why are you filming today
Jessica if you’re in such bad pain?” But the thing is… if I don’t do things just because I’m in pain Well, when would I ever do anything? You just have to keep on living your life, right? Even if you have a horrific migraine. Even if you’re…. I don’t know back hurts so badly you can’t get out of bed. You still have to keep on dong things. I not only have too… but want to. I want to keep on… enjoying my life. Which I do very much… even though it hurts. The life. Not the enjoyment. Clearly. It’s funny having a body that’s this weak.. and fragile. It doesn’t feel like it should belong to me really. I got told off by a therapist once. I had to go to child therapy. I was 17. It wasn’t a great match. That’s what happens when you
get diagnosed at a late age. And uhh…. and she told me off… for having too much distance between
my body and my mind and thought. But I think that’s fine. I don’t think there’s anything particularly unhealthy in it. I see my body as very separate to my mind. But I love my body and I care for it
and I want it to be okay. But I think in some ways I think it’s… healthy for me to see my mind as being inside a body that is not always… great. Because… It’s not… me. It’s not my mind. I’m not the one that stops me from doing things. It’s just this body that I happen to have. That I happened to be given and
it has its challenges and.. I just have to work my way around those. Maybe it’s also to do with being
called feeble and weak and useless and lazy for so long. Though those are just things I associate with my body. It’s not me. I tried. I wanted to do things I just couldn’t because of the body… so. Ah well. It’s much easier to forgive my body
if I think of it as being something that’s a little bit separate. It’s a rather heavy topic I realize. But there we go. Claud had to leave for work this morning. and I know she was not happy to leave me. She looked very… very… upset about it really. But it’s okay. I do have Clara.
Clara’s here. Looking after me. Not entirely alone. Yay. The most annoying thing… is that I’m not entirely sure why
I have an awful migraine. Ohhh.. Oh I shouldn’t laugh actually. That apparently hurts. If this is your first time meeting me Hi. Hello. I do actually have like a whole face. You just.. don’t get to see it today. I have a genetic illness that affects my nerves, muscles, organs, immune system. All that jazz. Pretty much everything. And also… I guess it gives me these migraines. But I… have migraines for a variety of reasons. So it’s very annoying. I have to try and find which one it is that’s stopped me. Is it because I’m low on blood sugar Well I woke up this morning and ate
3 packets of PomBears and an apple because my body wanted me to. I don’t know. And that doesn’t appear to have helped. I also ate something else but
I can’t remember what now. Custard? Maybe I ate some custard. Or it could be low blood pressure. That’s also something that I have to deal with. But then it does tend to right itself when I’ve lain down for a while. And this isn’t doing that. Same with P.O.T.S. Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. That’s good isn’t it? P.O.T.S. I just like that it abbreviates into something cute. Oh wait. That’s not an abbreviation. That’s an initialization, isn’t it? My brain’s a bit foggy. You have to excuse me. Can’t quit rememb [mumbles] English lessons now. So P.O.T.S. is pretty awful. Dealing with that’s pretty hard. But again lying down does tend to help. And this isn’t being improve by that at all. Could be hormonal. My body tends to attack myself
at certain times of the month. But I don’t think it’s that right time of the month. So… Could be fatigue related. If I’m too tired I get migraines. Could be that. I have done a lot recently I suppose. A week and a half ago I was in L.A. for a work trip and it’s been a bit difficult to recover from. No not a week and a half ago. [Mumbling] It’s going (inaudible) time. Christmas is always pretty tiring tiring right? Oh gosh. I feel so sick. You have to excuse me if halfway
through this video I just stand up and vomit. Stand up. I shan’t stand up. There’s a bucket on the other side of me. I’ll just roll over. Nausea and vomiting are also things that come at me quite often. Most mornings I have nausea that lasts for 2 to 3 hours. I think nausea is quite a difficult one to do things with. I find pain if it’s body pain like a… sprained ankle, broken arm, whatever much easier to deal with. Because it’s not in my head. The bit that controls everything and thinks and is and does. Pain in my head I find slightly harder to cope with. It’s quite nice talking about it really. Rather than just being here on my own. Well I say on my own. Not really on my own. Got two dogs here. I swear earlier I found this nerve in my neck that I pressed it down and the pain would subside. I can’t seem to find it now. Rather irritating. It is pretty annoying really. Having a head like this. I feel as if everything I say is reverberating… through my head in waves of pain. And each wave causes nausea But… I’ve been here before. I’ve done this before. I know that it goes away. It always does. I might have pain every day but it has ups and it has downs. It doesn’t really mean much in
the grand scheme of things to me. It will get better. On a day with less pain, I will go and do something marvelous. And that’s what I’ll remember. I don’t tend to remember the days in bed like this. When the pain is so bad I can’t open my eyes. Because why on Earth would I waste my memory space? Unless something wonderful happens. My sister-in-law brought my little nephew around. And he played on the bed.
Even though I felt horrendous. It was so nice to see him. So that type of memory I keep. I make it sound like I’m selective. Days like this I just wait for the next good one to come. And I know that it will. Everything gets better in time. I think they want me to sleep. Like that will help. It doesn’t. I think it makes other people feel better. Feel like they’re doing something useful. And sometimes it’s just a kindness to tell people you are feeling better. Or that what they are doing is helpful even though really they’re just
shaking the bed and it hurts. I think to put kindness into the world
is more important than anything else. And that will be my good thing for the day. Even if I can’t do anything else. Just try and spread some kindness. Goodbye my lovely people. I hope you’ve enjoyed my little ramble.
Now I’m going to get Clara to edit this. Clearly I’m not doing anything today. Sending love to those of you also dealing with pain. And love to your people if you’re not the one in pain. Love to your person who copes, who manages and who keeps going. Always gets better. Just remember that. Always get better. You wont always feel like this. You can do it. I know it probably sometimes seems a bit strange to film yourself in your worse moments. But I think it’s important because hey my channel’s all about my life with a chronic illness and… if I only filmed the good bits it would be a lie because that’s not life. And also I don’t want you guys to… to feel alone. You know? You’re not the only one who goes through this. If you’re a person who goes through horrible migraines. And if you’re not a person who goes through horrible migraines it’s probably also really helpful
to see someone who does because then you understand a bit more. about them. So there you go.
That was Day 11 of my Christmastide video series. All of the other videos are linked
in the description down below. If you want to know what we got
each other for presents today you can find out on Instagram Just like yesterday’s video
when I was too tired to add that in. Okay. Good. I’ll see you tomorrow. For the very last in my series. I’ve actually really, really been enjoying making despite the two little blips. Oh my health! Oh. Good times. Sending love to those of you feeling
not too great today either. This. I just put makeup on. It’s a lie. I feel terrible. Goodbye.

100 comments on “I Filmed My Chronic Migraine // Christmastide Day 11 [CC]

  1. Jessica Kellgren-Fozard Post author

    Thank you so much for your wonderful comments and support. It means a lot to me that I have you all by my side ❤️

    Reply
  2. Becca Burrington Post author

    Do they let you have oxygen at home to use when you get a migraine? Oxygen tends to work well for most of my patients when they get a migraine.

    Reply
  3. Heatherosaurus Post author

    This helped me so much. Thank you for sharing those vulnerable moments. I definitely don't feel so alone.

    Reply
  4. Viktoria Kelemenic Post author

    I get migraines, and I can only take a certain type of medication a more natural type. Almost every medication I was prescribed for my migraines I got a bad reaction, which is heart pain which feels like a heart attack, nausea, and shit. So I take endone almost everyday for my migraines. Although my migraines are different my doctor says I get them because of my wisdom teeth but idk. I also get eye problems, vertigo and other shit so I can understand a little bit

    Reply
  5. Robin Powser Post author

    You make me smile, just being beautiful and articulate about your lifestyle journey. Having lupus (+ more), seeing your journey is inspirational, even the bad days.

    Reply
  6. ImSody Post author

    Why do you cover your left eye? Do other migraine sufferers also do this?
    My last migraine was a couple of days ago, lasted for around 3 days and at its worst I had to cover and press on my left eye/part of the face. I'm not sure why I did it but when I pressed it felt somehow better? Similar to what she said about the spot on her neck. Like I still had horrible pain but if I stopped pressing I felt like I was gonna lose my mind from the pain and start crying which it was not gonna do any good to any one.

    Reply
  7. Stephy Peterson Post author

    You are so inspiring and this video changed my view of the pain I'm currently in from a pinched nerve in my back. I absolutely love your videos and your view on life. As a chronic pain sufferer with a new injury, it can get depressing but THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for helping me cope with this and my life challenges!

    Reply
  8. Sophia Fuchs Post author

    Also a migraine sufferer.😕 Everything you said is exactly what goes through my head on ‘bed days’.

    Reply
  9. Sophia Fuchs Post author

    Also, may I ask what the name of your condition is? I have a genetic condition as well that affects me in multiple ways and causes migraines for a variety of reasons too. I am curious to see if we are very similar. 🙂

    Reply
  10. Sophia Fuchs Post author

    Omg I have POTS too! I should really save all of my comments for the end of the video so I’m not spamming the comment section. 😂

    Reply
  11. Tressa Zimmerman Post author

    Thank you for sharing. I do know what migraines feel like. And I wouldn't wish them on anyone. Take care.

    Reply
  12. Lauren Haines Post author

    it made me cry to see you like this and hear you articulate so well how I feel when I suffer through my chronic migraines that are so quickly ignored by my, so called, health professionals, I wish I could show them this. I got my diagnosis 3 years ago, and I hate and resent it because even with it the doctors don't know how to treat it (IIH). I felt really alone until I saw this, I am sorry for your pain. May your happy memories always outshine the pain

    Reply
  13. FaithOriginalisme Post author

    Migraines? Check. POTS? Check. Chronic Pain? Check. Fatigue? Check. Brain Fog? Check. It seems we have very similar symptoms from different issues. Although, I haven't gotten to rule out all genetic diseases, but I do carry an Ehlers Danlos diagnosis. It's very cathartic seeing someone ON youtube, going through some of the stuff I go through.

    Reply
  14. Sara Tsilipounidakis Post author

    You’re so brave for filming this, it’s so helpful to understand what this might feel like. Instead of running from the pain or denying it, you embrace it and prevent it from changing who you are. I was wondering if you knew of any food connections as it relates to chronic pain? Or if acupuncture or cannabis has helped. I’m sorry if you address this in previous videos, I’m new to your channel!

    Reply
  15. Christina Hanson Post author

    Thank you for sharing this. I have chronic migraine and fibromyalgia and i've been feeling very alone in my pain lately. It's wonderful to know someone empathizes and understands.

    Reply
  16. JackRabbit Post author

    My migraines I can't talk, I can't move, I throw up. The doctor has to come and give me injections. No way could I smile or do a video.

    Reply
  17. JackRabbit Post author

    I can do some things now, but there was a time the pain was so bad, the pain stopped me in my tracks. So it's all very well saying carry on, but some people experience extreme pain where they can't and I really wish others who don't experience that amount of pain would take that on board.

    Reply
  18. Fran Horne Post author

    Thank you – I used to think I 'ought' to make videos and blogs about my life with a chronic incurable illness took me quite a while to realise there was no obligation! I very happily settled into keeping an IG account going with the merry complexities of life with a central line / port. I leave vids and blogs to those who are better skilled. I've spent a fair chunk of my life in bed in the same 'migraine position'. Weirdly there are 2 spots on my back that if I press them firmly some of my pain disappears for 2 whole minutes 😉 and I have the strangest patches of referred pain. Bizarre neurological illnesses are such a joy aren't they!? 😉 Right now (in the dead of winter) I sit here in a vest because my brain thinks it's experiencing a mid summer heatwave. Sending much love from another strangely wired brain x

    Reply
  19. kaz mcginty Post author

    This made me cry. I shared your struggles and admire your positive view. I only wish I could be more positive some days. You are an inspiration, always a sweetheart and thank you for showing the bad days , I don’t feel so alone.

    Reply
  20. SweetPeach Bellini Post author

    I know exactly how you feel Jessica. I've suffered with migraines since I was 20 years old and here I am at 58, still suffering but not for much longer. As you may know, Canada legalised marijuana last year and I'm now waiting on an order of 1:1 CBD/THC Tincture that I've been told will work wonders not only for my migraines,but also for my chronic back pain, arthritis, anxiety and depression. Have you looked into CBD oil/tincture or spoken with a neurologist/GP to see whether you can safely take it as well as if it could help you with your chronic pain? Winter is the worst for me due to the fluctuating barometric pressure, polar vortex etc., so I can't wait to give it a go. Perhaps I'll even be able to sleep through the night which would be fantastic!

    Reply
  21. Catarina Post author

    I've always suffered from excruciating migraines that even made me faint and stop breathing and need hospital assistance. You're the first YouTuber who actually pinpoints precisely how it feels. I wish you only better days ❤️

    Reply
  22. hannah grace Post author

    i have a constant headache and when you said ‘it goes away’ i nearly cried. i just want this to get better. your words help

    Reply
  23. elysepatrice Post author

    Thank you. Your positive spirit while feeling your worst physically is a blessing and example to me as a person with chronic pain and fatigue issues. Bless your heart, I am so thankful you made this video. 💗💗💗💗💗

    Reply
  24. Lesley Plowman Post author

    Thank you for talking about your experience with migraines. 🙂 I also suffer from them and it's nice to hear that I'm not alone

    Reply
  25. Tbehartoo Post author

    "If I don't do things just because I'm in pain… Well, when would I ever do anything?" This is what my life has become and it can be hard to explain to anyone not in chronic pain. Thank you for sharing this! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

    Reply
  26. Kat Flores Post author

    Such a wonderful and healthy way to look at life. There is so much in this that I need to learn. I actually kind of felt like crying because of how true everything you said is.

    Reply
  27. SCJ Post author

    I've had the same severe migraine for The Last 5 Years straight. Yesterday was my second ketamine treatment. Hopefully it works, nothing else has and we've tried everything. Pain sucks.

    Reply
  28. LennLenn Post author

    This video really hit me and I relate so much to everything you said. I have epilepsy and also suffer from migraines but I'm very lucky in that I neither my migraines or my seizures happen very often and I have found medication that usually work. I do also have regular headaches almost every day though and at this point it's just something I'm so used to that it barely even registers anymore. I don't really know what they are and none of my doctors seem to understand it either but along with the other things I figure there's just something wrong with my brain that medicine hasn't figured out yet and that's that. Headaches are just a part of my everyday life and as long as they're not too bad, I can function like normal, or at least like my normal. I still do the same things my friends do, I just have to deal with having a bad headache afterwards or getting more tired than other people. As I said, I'm lucky, my medication works. I haven't had a seizure in nearly a year, I haven't had a migraine in two months, and my day to day headaches are just so normal that I usually don't feel them if I don't ask myself "do I have a headache today?" and really, what's the fun in that?

    Reply
  29. Mel Smith Post author

    that way you explain the way you think of your mind and body as separate actually feels quite helpful to me as a person that suffers from chronic pain.
    Chronic pain is something that most people from understand, I was told by another person suffering chronic pain that my pain wasnt bad or it was imagined because I can still force myself to function enough to work as a baker full time. except for today, today has been the worst day my pain has given me, I can no longer perform my job alone as i cant lift much in certain ways, such as lifting 20kg of bread dough up out of a mixing bowl. but i have aims and goals to alter my life so i can cope.
    giving much strength to those of you that also suffer from chronic pain.

    Reply
  30. Sarcasm Post author

    I'm watching (or rather listening) this while having a migraine and it's nice to just relate. I suffer from depression, anxiety, and migraines but your videos always seems to help.

    Thank you

    Reply
  31. Nikki Noona Post author

    Thank you for making this Jessica. I have Migraines quite often. Light sensitivity, nausea and insane pain that makes me wanna cry but then again crying makes it worse. What makes me sad is when the people around me as in my Close family who I live with don't have any understanding for me not feeling well and still expect me to do everything. The pain I can somehow manage even if its unbearable but its the ignorance and selfishness that gets me a lot of time. Sorry for my mini rant.

    Reply
  32. Alyssa's Busy Life- Healthy Body Post author

    Absolutely love your rawness and bravery to share so much about chronic pain While in excruciating pain!! Feel better!!😞

    Reply
  33. Tea Jay Post author

    I don’t get migraines exactly but I get terrible muscular headaches that feel like someone’s taking an ice pick to the base of my skull and it then radiates out into pain in my face and eyes and jaw and like I have a tightening band around my head. It’s pretty awful though I’ve been managing it better than the one time it lasted for an entire month of a feedback loop and I was working as a grocery bagger. That was miserable. Now that I’m working at a computer for my job I’m back in PT and that seems to be helping. I get random lightheadedness too which we used to think was related to my headaches but seems separate now. No idea why. I just feel vaguely like I’m going to pass out as I’ve I haven’t eaten for a day and will faint- I don’t faint and I usually have eaten and had water so who knows! It hasn’t been happening as much lately so crosses fingers

    I understand a tiny bit that feeling when your body goes “nope” and you don’t know why. So frustrating. I’ve been there too when I just do things when I’m in pain because I don’t have a choice or because otherwise I wouldn’t do very much. Anyway, I have a ton of sympathy & a tiny bit of understanding of what you’re going through <3

    Reply
  34. So Adeborable Post author

    "If i dont do things just because I'm in pain, when would I ever get anything done?" Spoke to me on a SPIRITUAL LEVEL

    Reply
  35. Gabriela Martniez Post author

    I am not having a migraine but I am currently feeling a lot of emotional pain and found this video and it made me cry, but it is a good cry, a necessary cry, because I need to hear what you are saying more often, so thank you <3

    Reply
  36. kristine ezpeleta Post author

    you have such a compelling voice…
    i converted this video into an mp3 and listened to it for 3 days now…idk why..

    Reply
  37. Mood Forever Post author

    I have chronic migraines also … been having them ever since 6th grade . I’m 28 now & I still have them once a year !

    Reply
  38. Emily Thompson Post author

    Peppermint oil my dear all around your head and neck and lay in the dark xx rest up my angel z

    Reply
  39. Micheala Young Post author

    I also have chronic migraines. I've had them since I was 10 and I'll be 22 this year. I once took six 200mg Ibuprofen at once and in January I had an attack that lasted twelve days straight with no breaks. I hate when people say "oh I get headaches all the time." or have you tried so and so? The one thing I wish people would understand is that headaches and migraines are two completely different things. Yes I have tried drinking water and taking medication. No it doesn't work. I recently had an MRI on my brain. It came back perfectly normal, so we are back to square one on what's causing them. I have them almost everyday and honestly there have been multiple times that I have told people to just cut my head off because I would rather be dead than deal with the pain anymore.

    Reply
  40. Myth-ter Moth Post author

    Pots is an acronym. Similar to a TLA or three letter acronym. Calling it an abbreviation might cause some people to become acrimonious, but those people dont suffer from maigraines.

    Reply
  41. Dangsoo D Post author

    I have to take tablets every day to prevent migraine… and they don't always work. Trying to find the trigger and prevent next time it is half the fun. Thank you for listing some of the ridiculous reasons a migraine sugger can just… get a migraine and be out for the count for days

    Reply
  42. WhichDoctor1 Post author

    When I was a teenager I had occasional migraines that felt just like how you describe. I was lucky though that at their worst they only happened once every couple of months and then only lasted an hour or two. With that little experience its remarkable to see people like you who deal with pain like that on a regular or even constant basis. But then again I've had chronic fatigue since I was 10 and I just dealt with that. It is really amazing for you to share yourself when you feel like this though. The hardest thing about having a chronic illness is that people only ever see you when your well enough to see people. So they never normally get to see the actual illness. I love you, your wonderful wife and this channel.

    Reply
  43. Ambitious Reader Post author

    Brand new subscriber but this video made me feel heard. I suffer from chronic migraines, pain and fatigue and your words helped me feel less alone. Thank you.

    Reply
  44. Mary Treaty Post author

    Thank you for making this video. I was diagnosed with severe chronic migraines disease when I was 7(migraines everyday severe once a week). Now I'm 17 and I have migraines level8 everyday and level 10 half the week. Seeing someone show what a migraine does is great because it helps others understand and it makes us feel less alone. My bff used to always make fun of me a migraine can't be that bad then she got a level 6 one and now can't imagine how i go to school everyday with atleast a level 8.

    Reply
  45. Logan Rowlett Post author

    I have very similar videos to this saved of myself for my own reminders that migraines just sort of happen sometimes. As well as being able to pinpoint symptoms.
    That said, your positive attitude about the pain going away and things getting better really made a difference and I hope I’ll remember that next time I have a migraine. Thank you very much.

    Reply
  46. Karen L. Post author

    Hi Jessica, I really enjoy listening to your rambling and it somehow makes me feel better. I don't have any physical illness but I'd say I'm mentally unstable and I get depressed easily. Your video really makes me feel there's hope and I'm not so alone… so thank you <3

    Reply
  47. Mrs. Migraine Post author

    Oh how I know that pain. It's amazing that you were willing to film yourself. I'm not that brave…. yet!

    Reply
  48. 9th Galaxy Post author

    I found this video really calming and reassuring. It’s nice to be reminded that no matter how sick or sore you may feel at one point, you will always get better.

    Reply
  49. Kiona Avalanche Post author

    I'm late but… let me just say lovely you look with and without makeup! ♥️

    Reply
  50. Cupped Water Post author

    I honestly don’t know how people with chronic pain do it. I get a migraine once a month and i die when I get them, plus daily minor headaches. You are incredible and I honestly don’t know how you do it. Stay strong💜

    Reply
  51. Amelia Bonistalli Post author

    i’m so sorry this is happening but i think you should know that your voice is the most soothing thing ever

    Reply
  52. Mal Post author

    i used to get migraines fairly often, but i thankfully hardly get them now. we used to think it was because i needed glasses, as they subsided about the same time i got glasses, but we later found out it was because of my spine, and because my spine is in a wrong shape. the migraines lessened because i was also doing physical therapy for my spine at the same time as i was getting my glasses, and while the physical therapy didn't fix my misshapen vertebrae, doing it consistently does seem to help with the migraines, if not the nerve pain throughout the rest of my body.

    basically, my heart goes out to anyone who deals with migraines. they're probably in the top 5 list of worst things to live with

    Reply
  53. Miss Luna Post author

    I know this is an older video but I cannot express how much I needed it today in particular. Dealing with a really scary medical situation that's incredibly painful and has me unable to leave my bed at the moment unless it's absolutely necessary. Thank you for putting your kindness into the universe. You have made a massive impact on my view of my disability, my outlook on life, and just generally my person. I appreciate you. Truly. Thank you.

    Reply
  54. Vex Post author

    Oh my god I sufferer from chronic migraines to so I know how you feel but I’m on this lovely drug called topiramate it works really well for me and am I ever grateful for it

    Reply
  55. Madeleine McKellar Post author

    It frustrates me SO MUCH that doctors barely ever recognize that whatever their specialty is, their patients might not be exactly what they're trained for, or ye know… there might be other issues at play that intersect and result in a more nuanced patient than expected. =_= I'm sorry you've had such unfortunate experiences with mental health professionals – but as someone with both severe, chronic mental health issues, and chronic physical pain that has been getting worse over the years I can say I absolutely agree with you that the relationship I have with myself and my body is VERY different depending on which issue is at the forefront of any given day. When I am in physical pain, I have a much easier time separating myself in a "healthy" way from my body that allows me to accept it's limitations, while being actually willing to recognize that I need to take care of it in order to feel better. Whereas if I'm too connected, and too conscious of myself physically then all there is is pain. Similarly, in a mental health capacity, being overly connected and conscious of my physical self can literally become dangerous and destructive o.O
    That was rather lengthy, but this video gave me so many feelings <3
    Every time I watch one of your videos I am again glad that I came across your channel. While I am sorry that you do endure such horrific amounts of pain, and so often… I am more often ridiculously inspired, and appreciative that you put yourself, your life, and the realities -whether good/bad/or anything else – of being disabled out here for all of us <3

    Reply
  56. emanuel ribeiro Post author

    I relate with the "no I was dying" realization, because I have broquitis, and I'm so used to not breath well, that I only notice it when my mom comes over and says: Are you okay? Your breathing is TERRIBLE and I'm like: oh, you're right, wait a minute, let me catch my medicine!

    Reply
  57. Mushy Lui Post author

    I love you so much, in severer pain now, migraine for days..I could die but i love my life.. Thank you for filming this!

    Reply
  58. theadoptedtenenbaum Post author

    So helpful as a sufferer of chronic migraine, especially the mantras about "we've been through this before and it always gets better", as that part is the most difficult for me!

    Reply
  59. Thomas Joychild Post author

    Just found this and found I reacted quite strongly. A lot of what you said really resonated deeply for me and my spoon-related things, like still needing and wanting to get on with life even when it hurts or it's hard, especially when that's a lot of the time. Maybe we need to take things easier or slower during bad times (and even good ones, to keep things good), but if we entirely stop and only live when it's not difficult then we're… not going to get much done, or as you put it, that's not living.

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  60. Nahala Wing Post author

    Im curious are you on any certain pain meds to help? I have chronic pain from arthritis in the spine and I have crohns/colitis (had that for 18years) so Im on strong meds to help me not be bed ridden (which has happened in the past) so are you on any pain meds to help with your pain?

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  61. Chronic Entrepreneur Club with Valeriya Zaytseva Post author

    "But the thing is… If I don't do things just because I'm in pain.. Well, when would I ever do anything?" resonated with me so much! I am chronically ill and I have started multiple online businesses in order to support myself and my family. I'm at a point where I can help other chronically ill people start their own online businesses too! So hats off to you for having a Youtube channel this big and many side projects in your description (I'm sure you have more!) I just wanted to also offer this link to a free facebook community for any chronically ill entrepreneur out there looking for support! bit.ly/CEClub

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  62. Elizabeth Fay Post author

    I'm a chronic migraineur too, I'm impressed that you could tolerate filming yourself. I'm typically in so much pain I do a stunning digestive pyrotechnic show and/or need all external stimuli to go away. Have you seen the models and magazines promoting the "migraine pose"? I think more people need to let them know how we feel about their depiction of our condition in such a cavalier manner.

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  63. Jeanne R Post author

    It may be 8 months old but your video really helped me. The pain will get better and I can manage my MA dissertation

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  64. Ellie Brooks Post author

    I think I may have been overly moved by this, for the last three years, my early teens, I have been dealing with chronic migraines and they have slowly been getting worse. Recently I had an evening like this, where all I could do is lie down and clutch my face and cry, so much crying. To see you in a similar state and yet so positive is quite moving, to show that a positive mental attitude and KNOWING, not just hoping that it will get better is do able. I'm usually a very independent person but when this happens it just makes me feel like I just wished like it would be easier if it was all over, but to hear you talk on the subject and to have such confidence in life and in happiness really helps.
    Thank you, a definitely-not-crying viewer

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  65. pikaporo Post author

    I got the same shoulder press thing, also if i press a place where the bottom of the skull if in the neck it helps while im pressing but then when i release it comes back worse. Cant they do the nerve block or botox in the nerve in the migraine clinic? I worked in neurology in Haywards Heath and they used to do those there? Does sumatriptan work? that one works for me, I tried asking for the nerve block at work but wanting it so that i can keep drinking coffee wasnt apparently reasonable…Also they did approve thc spray as treatment for ME and MS I thought or isit through private prescription still, or at least cbd seems to help with some. But you must have tried them all already. From how u are touching where the pain is seems that its ur lesser occipital nerve, hope that helps.

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  66. Samantha Not telling Post author

    I’ve got chronic migraines as well and have been knocked off my feet many times. I can relate so much. As sad as it is to see you in it it’s nice that others who don’t get it can see it and hear an explanation of it.

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  67. Liv Gee Post author

    I love seeing you all done up and polished and being an example of how you can thrive through your body fighting you for it, but this was so raw and real and I think really helped to show you can have your highs and lows and they are all valuable and there are people who relate to those lows too. Thank you.

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  68. Tina Bee Post author

    I'm currently experiencing mild migrain for almost a week now. For someone who rarely have migraines, I find it super disturbing. It subsided a today but now I have a terrible back pain.

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  69. JMC101Ann Post author

    I took a photo of myself having a migraine at a Hyde Park concert surrounded by a crowd of Pink Floyd fans. I felt perfectly fine going there and eating dinner pre gig with my family and then it hit me as I walked to Hyde Park in London. I couldn't leave and my husband was drunk so I had to endure it lying down with my eyes closed.

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  70. A Gypsy Circle Post author

    Personally when I have a migraine, if I can take a nap it relaxes my body enough to allow my body to fix itself. I know that won’t help because it’s what works for me, and you have your own ways of getting through it, I only mention it because this part at least I can understand. Thank you for filming even when that icepick is gouging into your brain and then somehow transforming into a blender on purée, and I hope you have a better afternoon!

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  71. animerlon Post author

    I totally agree, head pain is the worst. The farther away from your head the easier it is to distance yourself from it.

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  72. Jack burmie Post author

    I love this channel bbut there was something about this video – unscripted and just a pure stream of consciousness where i felt you said some of the most beautiful, truthful and honest things that people need to hear. I loved it.

    Some of my favs
    "It's not me, I tried, I wanted to do things, I just couldn't because of my body"
    "I find pain, if its body pain, sprained ankle or broken arm, much easier to deal with because it's not in my head, the bit that controls everything, the thing that thinks and is and does"
    "I've been here before, I've done this before, it always does."
    "It has ups and downs, it doesn't really mean much to me." (The Pain)
    "I think to put kindness in the world is more important then anything else"
    "just try and spread some kindness"

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  73. Chepan Post author

    I know I'm watching this (again) 8 months later, but I've been dealing with a migraine that's increased and decreased intensity levels for the past two or more weeks. Really helped to listen to this actually. Not to mention the soft talking. Not sure if its allergies, or my fibromyalgia, or RA at this point. Anyways, love your sharing.

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  74. Nathalyse Post author

    My worst migraine was on a metal festival – i was feeling off all day so i decided to go sleep in the tent with a t-shirt over my head and earplugs in… Woke up an hour later in agony and when my then boyfriend came back after a show, i was hysterically crying and i could even hold my head up because i was in so much pain. So he got some first aid responder who carried me to the medical tent. Got a shot of a painkiller and they put me on a strecher. However, the medical tent was next to the 24h party zone which made my migraine worse. After puking twice in front on my boyfriend of a few months, he had to call his dad to pick us up (45 min drive) so i could sleep it off in a quiet bed. That was fun… Puked 5 times on the way home too… Went back to the festival next but wore earplugs that blocked out most noise for the rest of the festival

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  75. Brenna Leano Post author

    So I have chronic pain, and frequent debilitating tension headaches, I actually began to tear up just now watching this. You have made me feel a little less alone in regards to the way I deal with my daily pain and my moments of debilitating pain. I too separate my mind from my body a little especially when in pain so I can cope with it better and just get on with my life. I also feel less alone that there are others out there who also deal with insane levels of pain but keep a positive outlook and attitude, whenever I seem to remark on my pain levels to an average person their only response is "I don't know how you do it" or "wow, you're in that much pain how are you so happy/positive?" And it's like I'm like this because I was given no choice, I either let the pain defeat me and become the center of my personality or focus, or I take a deep breath acknowledge the pain, treat it or help it if I can, and move forward. Jessica, you are amazing in all you do, and with this video you have given me a little sense of normalcy, and for me that is amazing. Granted I don't have quite as many complications in my life as you do, but I struggle to feel normal or as if I belong, so thank you, thank you so much. Even if you never see this comment I hope you know all the good you have done and continue to do. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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  76. Pipsa R Post author

    Some parts of you speaking in this video your voice and things you say sound somewhat poetic at points. I know sounds weird to describe something involved in this as poetic but oh well…

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  77. Carol M Post author

    Thank you for sharing this. I've been getting so wrapped up in my chronic pain and I feel like I'm giving in to it, that it's my identity now. It was a revelation to me to hear how you deal with it and how you focus on the wonderful things, because the pain isn't worth your time in the bigger picture. It's hard being the 'good little soldier', and I can't keep that face on all the time, but it's better than letting the pain win. Thank you, Jessica.

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  78. Stephen Lounds Post author

    migraine is no laughing matter. I get them quite often and they can last for days. I get those feelings and become clumsy with severe mood swings. The flashing lights are distressing.

    I feel for you and hope they teduce in time

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  79. Gloria Southard Post author

    I have chronic migraines and multiple other chronic pain situations. I feel this video deep in my soul. It's actually one of my coping mechanisms to think of my mind and body as separate. It helps when I know that I want to do things, my body just can't.

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  80. Claire E Summers Post author

    oh lovey, just looking at you makes me want to cry. I'm soooo lucky my migraines have abated (touch wood), but just looking at your pose brings back the reality of how hideous migraines are. I rarely have migraines now (yay!), but I'm now afflicted with fibromyalgia (boo!). xx

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