HOW MY CONCUSSION CHANGED MY LIFE | part 2 to my concussion video

HOW MY CONCUSSION CHANGED MY LIFE | part 2 to my concussion video


hey guys it’s CristinFaith and welcome
back to my channel or welcome to my channel if you haven’t been here before
so today anxiety yeah so today’s not really
planned at all I’ve just been going through some things which we’ll get into
um that kind of made me want to do this video but I kinda wanted to speak about
how my concussion changed my life and like made me
different I’ve just I’ve always seen concussions of like a thing you know
what I mean but I never like realized how serious they were which is really
weird cuz like I mean it’s your brain which like powers everything in life and
like it being shaken shook yeah I don’t know what that was um yeah obviously
some things are gonna happen but I had never heard of anybody being really that
affected by a concussion I thought that like hey it’s gonna hurt for a while
you’re gonna have headaches you need to be in a dark room um but then after that
like your life is gonna be different and it’ll only last for like a week um but
obviously that wasn’t the case for me um I didn’t even think that like I had him
I had the heart I didn’t think I needed to go to the doctor in the first place
um but I’m like glad that I did my whole world is shook now it’s just different
so um obviously we’re the thumb now you can tell that and now I have anxiety
um which is just fun you know um I’ve never had anxiety like actual anxiety in
my entire life so like when it happened I’m still like
okay I know it’s anxiety but like I doubt myself a lot in life and so like
automatically I tell myself I’m like your anxiety is not that bad but then
like I go back and look and I’m like oh also Samara you’re fine I’m like it
wasn’t completely your fault that I got a concussion so like don’t be mad at
yourself it’s fine it’s fine so when I had my
concussion um I just thought that I would be good in like a week um but I’m
like still not the same and it’s been like quite a while I never really had
like panic attacks before not big ones not small ones um I think I had like one
and it was like not even a panic attack I don’t know but I thought it was a
panic attack at the time um until I finally had a panic attack
um and I started like having small ones so like I just be like let me just give
you an example I was at a band competition um and like we were waiting
for our results I wasn’t really expecting much and I wasn’t like nervous
because I knew that I didn’t do that well so I was just like I’m not gonna
get it like it’s fine um but something like got triggered in me and like we
were in like this group of people and obviously it was like a big group of
people but like I had my space and like I wasn’t being like pushed around or
anything I was just like standing there with my friends
and like it’s just like something clicked and like I couldn’t breathe I
felt that like everything was just like surrounding me even though like I knew
visually that like everybody was away from me but it just felt like crazy like
I needed to sit down and I needed to like get away from everyone and like
breathe I’m like obviously I know that people have them like we worse but like
I had just like a small one and that was even crazy also I just got my nose
pierced the linguist um and I had never had anything like that and I kind of
didn’t want to make this video because first I didn’t want my best friend to
feel bad and second I didn’t want people to look at me different which is exactly
why I was too scared to tell people that I had a YouTube channel so from now on
I’m just gonna act like I didn’t tell anybody and I’m gonna have the same
mindset that I had when like nobody knew I had a youtube channel because if I had
the mindset that I had now I probably would not have come out with like my
skin problems video because that was really personal so I’m just gonna act
like nobody watches my YouTube channel you know and that it’s only for me so
yeah that was like the first time that I had ever really liked at like a panic
attack I say panic attack because I still don’t
for sure know if it was manic attack but like it was a panic attack yeah I’m like
still on the fence about that my sister has panic attacks my older sister she’s
kind of the exact same way that I am now and I mean like I understood my sister
when she would like describe everything but like now I think that we’re like so
much alike that it’s like crazy and also my sister got a concussion too and
I talked to her like more recently and she had like the same thing happen to
her and I don’t know if like people just don’t talk about the aftermath of a
concussion or if people just genuinely don’t get affected how I did because
like now I literally I have so much anxiety like everything is very anxiety
and I just like I don’t know I developed a phobia or two which is
just very weird it’s like okay I’m not gonna tug on my phobia just because
don’t want you know I’ll use that against me in life um but I feel like
it’s kind of the same concept as like someone having a phobia with clowns I
mean I’m fine with clowns but like you know there’s like somebody who has like
a phobia with clowns and they’re just like scared of clowns and like even like
the thought like makes them so uneasy you know like that sort of thing it’s
kind of like that but it’s like a completely different subject um but I’m
just gonna use that as an example um I have never been like afraid of this type
of thing and then like all of a sudden it just like clicked in my head and it
was like my worst nightmare and I felt like this makes no sense unless you like
know what it is but um I don’t know I used to have like a favorite show about
this subject and the sad thing is that I could never really watch that show
without being like without like feeling like I’m gonna have a panic attack
don’t cry Tate oh um and it’s just so sad because like that’s on one of my
favorite okay that’s like one of my favorite
shows and like I literally can’t watch any anymore because now I have like this
phobia and it’s like I didn’t realize how much people talked about the subject
and tell like I have a phobia and like literally like I feel like the subject
comes up every single day and it’s so weird because I feel like it’s not that
like big of a subject this is making no sense because y’all don’t know what it
is and I’m still not gonna tell y’all because like honestly hurts my heart a
little bit and like um I’m so different like I literally I don’t even like
talking about it because in my mind it’s like if you talk about it it’s gonna
come true and I’m like ah no I’m like I don’t want that to happen um and then
I’m I don’t know it’s just like it’s so weird how that’s like a phobia thing um
also another thing that is kind of like a phobia now is like you know like the
holes like the little hole obeah it’s not that but my phobia is more like
things being stuck in holes or things being like like you can’t get things out
I don’t know um but one day my best friend’s cousin or you know Samaritan
her cousin he had like rocks in his shoes and I didn’t know that like this
affected me it’s not like that’s okay and like it had never affected me before
but after I got my concussion uh did it affect me I like looked down and
I saw that in his shoes he had like big holes and it had like rocks in it and
like literally it made me an easy for like an entire hour so I wouldn’t say
that like that made me have a panic attack but it made me like feel like I
was having it I don’t know what panic attacks are like I watched videos of
people describing them and I’m like yeah that’s how I feel but then I’m like when
I’m talking about it I’m like it wasn’t that big of a deal so I guess like I
don’t want to call it a panic attack but like I don’t know I doubt myself in every
situation in life and so I I feel uncomfortable calling it a panic attack
because I feel like a lot of people have bigger panic attacks and so mine aren’t
valid that’s how I feel I don’t know but the whole whole thing
like it made me like feel so uncomfortable I felt like I was like
sweating and like I don’t know what’s wrong with me it’s never like nothing
like this has ever happened in my entire life um so it was just weird to like be
so uncomfortable with something and like I don’t know like be affected by like
literally just bogs you know I mean something else that was like that was
like I saw this shaver and it had like a piece of hair oh I don’t know and the
fact that like why am i itching sorry I like when I’m uncomfortable ice I like
my eggs and my flares up like I’m not even lying I’m itching right now no I’ve
always been like a mom type of friend but now I’m like a real mom type of
friend I get uneasy with everything and I like want everyone to stay safe and
I’m like don’t die you know what I mean um and like when people are like doing
something dangerous I’m like hey I just feel like I’m the most mom that I’ve
ever been in my entire life if that makes sense but yeah so I’m like super
anxious now every day when I like leave my house I like look back and forth and
like I’m always like very cautious of my surroundings and I like if I’m like
walking outside like I have to look like around me like every five seconds which
is just annoying and weird and again something new in my life um and that I’m
just gonna have to deal with um something else that’s different um is
that like I like to have these periods of time we’re like and literally like I
feel like after I got my concussion like I’m a little stupider first of all that
life was so awkward second of all I stupid arrow bird that’s
so sad but like I feel like I can’t get work done
um the simplest tasks seem so hard for me um yeah oh wait note last night today
I was so upset like this today but um I have like a test and we only have two
days to do it and I felt like I was working on so hard like the entire
period and then like the bell rang and I looked down at my 40 question paper my
40 question test thing and I had only answered 7 questions which just made me
so sad because like I just feel like I’m slower and then I take like 12 years to
be kind of sad about it but um yeah it’s awkward I’m sorry and I’m like kind of
embarrassed of this part because like I hate crying in front of people but like
I don’t know I just feel like I can’t think right but like when I filmed this
I was having like a really hard week and I couldn’t really do like any of my way
it’s like my head’s all jumbled up like also fun fact just to lighten the mood
that dimple under my chin is there because my sister told me that Santa
wasn’t real and I fell and busted my chin
so yeah just quick story tend to lighten the mood I can’t think right a lot of
time during the day like my vision gets blurry and it confuses me which like
nobody ever talks about but just made it more uncomfortable oh god I’m so ugly
when I cry but like everybody I feel like athletes always get concussion
and like they just like to get back out there and life and like they don’t get
affected and it’s so confusing because like I got my concussion and it’s like
my whole world turned around and I don’t know if they just don’t talk about it
maybe they didn’t hit their head as hard as me I don’t know but like once my head
it hit that concrete like her cement or whatever my whole like everything was
different um also I feel like I have like mood
swings like this one I like one second I’m like completely fine in the next
second I’m like it’s like the good thing is I feel like a lot of people get
depression and I don’t be depressed no I’m not
I never happy that like I don’t know it didn’t make me like depressed or
anything it just made me like super anxious and like have anxiety which is
kind of been the part where it’s made me like a little sad because I fear that
like now that I hit my head I’m gonna like have a brain damaged or like later
on in life I’m gonna like develop something now I it’s genuinely so weird
that like nobody talks about concussions or like I feel like nobody’s affected by
concussions and honestly concussions can affect people so different
my mom got hit with this like gigantic pole once and she was like completely
fine didn’t even go to the doctor I my head on the ground and I’m stupid now no
man and I’m still like it’s been how long has it been
I hit my head in October so you do the math um and I hit my head I think right
here somewhere um and like I can’t wear ponytails I
just I mean I can but like it really really are
and um I accidentally hit my head a couple times since that since I got my
concussion because I’m just clumsy and it’s so different like I feel like when
I hit my head like the war like it was fine but now that I hit my head like I
get so lightheaded and I like almost pass out but yeah um one day I was like
bending over and I like came up and I hit myself in the head on like a door
knob and I swear I had to think like a 30 minute break of me just sitting there
being like oh and then at one time I like sat on the couch and I like went
back and I hit myself on like a massage box thing I don’t know it’s like one of
those ones that you like go like that and that that made me so like confused
um but today for the first time in like a long time it like it felt like how I
felt when I had my concussion everything seems alright everything seems loud and
like I had a headache and like my head hurt exactly how it felt when I had my
concussion which was so weird and was like one of the main reasons I wanted to
do this video okay this is the next night so let’s just get into like this
quick extra little story time that is a part of this story so um you saw I was
the other date after that whole night or whatever the next day I went to school
and like I was like feeling sick and I couldn’t like focus that I couldn’t do
like any of my work so I just basically didn’t do anything in first period even
though I kind of tried but then my next period came and I like was doing fine
and then like I got this like really big like urge to throw up so like I got up
and then when I got up I like got dizzy and like I felt like I was gonna faint
though like that I called my and like she came and picked me up and I
was just like sick all that day and then my sister Heather came to like pick me
up and take me to the doctor and like we had asked like our original like my
original doctor it like what I should do like should I go to like her or like
what should I do and she told me to go to the emergency room so that’s what I
did and then when I got there like we like I
peed in a cup or whatever and like did the normal emergency room stuff I got my
little like wristband that I have over there and I like went in laid down and I
went with my sister and as soon as I got there like the girl who did my stuff she
was like it’s not sinuses and I was like no no okay so then we got inside of the
room and then the doctor came in like later on and he like started asking
questions and stuff and like doing different stuff like put your leg over
here over here and then um he was like asking questions and saying stuff and
then he was like sounds like you just have like a migraine and like it’s just
like I don’t know like it just annoyed me cuz I feel like a migraine isn’t
gonna like make me almost pass out right I don’t know but I was like okay I was
fine with that um and then it was just like more of the
way that he said it and he was just like being kind of rude and like it was like
upsetting me and I was like trying to make myself not cry and then that
started like giving me like even more of like a headache and then he was just
like I don’t know him my sister started like arguing which was like giving me
more of a headache and I feel like I don’t cry that easy I say after crying
like twelve times in this video people like
this guy was like upsetting me like he was being like so rude and then like
once like I couldn’t hold in my tears anymore like I like started like quite
crying because I didn’t want him to like notice is that my sister was like
literally you’re making her cry and then he like was like okay well then I’m just
gonna get out I’m just gonna get out you can get scans and you can get brain
cancer and I’ll just get out he was like if you want then I’ll just do it and my
sister was like no like we’re just gonna leave like you’re acting so childish
because he was acting so weird like I don’t know well um now it’s just been
like extra bad just like in pain all day today and then like I went out and it
was just like extra pain and yeah I feel like the only time that I feel like
extra good is after like a nap and it’s only for like a couple second my doctor
now like told us that we should like go to a specialist or something like that
because like it’s not normal for me to just like have my symptoms again but
then we did read on the internet that like when you have a concussion that
like you can have like relapse within a year and so we think that maybe it’s
that but yeah I don’t know I just felt like I needed to tell you all that story
time on top of the video that I was making this week I felt like nobody my
age has anxiety like nobody that I associate with a lot of people in my
grade have had concussions but like nobody has spoken now about being
affected in this ways if you are like tell me because I don’t want to be the
only one that’s like this um and if you having the side he like hit me up
because I want to know I’m not alone in this life and if you have panic attacks
also hit me up because these are new in my life and I need help and I need a
therapist but um I’m not gonna get rid of it so yeah that
was my video I just wanted to like talk to you talk about depression talk about
anxiety talk about like all those weird things and just speak out about like how
I’m different now I’m just like actually curious like if you had a concussion did
it like affect you like this did it affect you like at all like I just want
to know because like I never hear of people being affected like in this way I
just feel like they always get a concussion and then they’re like fine
I’m like it doesn’t really like affect them after you’re like the headaches and
stuff like I don’t know maybe that’s just me I’ve tried looking it up like on
YouTube and like nobody it just like sits down and talks about the results of
a concussion I feel like they’re oh he’s just like it’s always like a professor
who’s like talking about it um but yeah please comment like share
and subscribe and I will see you in my next video
whoa whoa um don’t forget to hit the bell you know just taking me notified
every time that I make a horrible video um but yeah I hope this like helps
someone we’ve not um but if it didn’t help you at least this will you’re welcome no okay
goodbye

4 comments on “HOW MY CONCUSSION CHANGED MY LIFE | part 2 to my concussion video

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *